James, John W. and Friedman, Russell. When Children Grieve. New York
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Myth 2: Replace the Loss
James and Friedman describe a story where a six year old boy’s dog dies and his father says, ‘“Don’t feel bad, [pause] on Saturday we will get you a new dog (25).”’ Now the boy understands two major misconceptions about his emotional responses: don’t feel bad, and replace the loss (25). The idea that this boy can replace painful emotions with pleasure is a concept that can have long-term consequences. It devalues the boy’s relationship with his pet, discourages appropriate painful responses, and subsequently disrupts or prevents the natural healing process.
