Myth 1: Don’t Feel Bad!

Loving friends and relatives mean well when they say, ‘“Don’t feel bad, he/she lived a long life.’ Or, ‘Don’t feel bad, at least he/she didn’t suffer.’ Or, ‘Don’t feel bad, he/she’s in a better place (14).’” However, these comments unintentionally promote inappropriate responses. The truth is that grief responses are painful and unpleasant in response to painful and unpleasant losses. It is a highly appropriate time to feel bad.

James, John W. and Friedman, Russell. When Children Grieve. New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2001.